There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
