Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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