so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
