At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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