mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
