Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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