i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
