I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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