so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
