i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Everything about him screamed your future.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
