I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
