dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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