whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
