Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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