Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
