totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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