I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
