Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
