Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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