He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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