gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My Higher Power is John Stamos
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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