I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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