only if we run a train.
done.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
