I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
false alarm, still single
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
