Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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