alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
