Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How does one acquire holy water?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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