Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
