Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
