So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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