Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
