Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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