Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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