Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
