i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
