Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
