if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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