so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
