Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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