I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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