I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
