Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
