Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
