make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
