Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
