normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
