If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
that may or may not have been my penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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