sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Drunk is not a location!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
