the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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