How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
