What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
