So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
