I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
